When Sci gets in a parody-ing mood, all sorts of things come out. Evil things. Things like this. I blame Isis for what is about to follow. Her love of Spears is well-known, though I imagine the goddess will never have to plead for funding in this manner.
To the Tune of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” because I’m that old.
Oh, grants review board,
Oh grants review board, how was I supposed to know
your page and text requirements
Oh grants review board, I shouldn’t have let that deadline go
And now I’m out of funds, yeah
Show me the data prelim’nary
you want from me, cause I need to know, now, because
My funding mess is killing me (and I)
I must confess, I need salary! (salary!)
Can’t buy equipment, I’ve lost my mind
Give me a siiiiiiiign
Fund this R01 this time!
Oh grants review board
my score has me real depressed
You’re only funding 3rd percentile
Oh grants review board
I swear my science is the best
Just need to buy my test vials
Show me the lit’rature primary
You want to see, cause I need to know now, because
My finding fix is killing me (and my)
My grad students are demanding! (demanding)
They want their stipend, I’ve lost my mind
Give me a siiiiiiign
Fund this R01 this time!
Oh grants review board, how was I supposed to know?
Oh grants review board, shouldn’t let that deadline goooooo…
*DANCE BREAK!!!! I’m picturing something with lab coats and a cool bench sequence with people choreographed flipping Erlenmeyers*
I must confess, that my funding mess, Is killing me noooooow
But you know I still believe
My science is sweet,
can’t be beat
Fund this R01 this time!
My funding mess is killing me (and I)
I must confess, I need salary! (salary!)
Can’t buy equipment, I’m losing my mind
Give me a siiiiiiiign
Fund this R01 this time!
(repeat as needed)
A side note: She looks so YOUNG in this video! Scary.
