Today, Sci would like to take you down memory lane. The memory lane of 4 months ago (or so) when I was writing my dissertation.
So Sci saw many other people in her department as they were writing their dissertations. The signs were obvious. Usually long periods of disappearance would be punctuated by brief hallways hauntings, with the poor writer in their old, scrubby sweatshirt regardless of the time of year, and with huge purple circles under their eyes. They tended to avoid people, and often questions of how the thesis was going would be met with a quavering voice and rapid blinking of tears from the eyes.
Sci did what she could. I recall several occasions tiptoeing into an office while a student was in the throes of writing, putting down a cup of coffee, and tiptoeing away. Sometimes I did the same thing with beer or a chocolate bar (this is also highly recommended when a student is studying for quals). When I found out that a friend was living on Swedish fish and coffee for days, I took her out, force fed her vegetables, and then made her play with a happy cuddly dog for a while. I read and edited introductory chapters at 1am.
People would always thank me and tell me how nice I was, and I always felt a little more pride watching them defend, and knowing in some little way, I helped.
But Sci was a late bloomer to the grad game. And when my time for my dissertation came, many of my friends had moved on. I remember coming home one evening feeling despair that there was no one to help ME (of course there WAS, Mr. S was at his best and my running partner was awesome).
And then I looked down and there was a package.
It was a THESIS CARE PACKAGE from a friend who I had helped in the past, and it contained the four things any defending student needs: chocolate, caffeine, alcohol, and a note from someone who cared. Sci got tears in her eyes as she opened it (and then she tore into the alcohol). It is one of the nicest presents I’ve ever received, from someone who had been there before.
And a few days later I got ANOTHER one! This time from a friend who drove up to my door at midnight while I was going over revisions and frantically looking up citations, and handed me tea, chocolate, and a hug.
I had other friends who couldn’t be there physically, but who gave my introduction(s) the fine-toothed comb treatment they needed.
Thanks to all of them and their support, I got 5 hours of sleep the night before I turned in my dissertation (REALLY!).
These friends know how much I thanked them, and they know how much it meant. When you’re writing your dissertation, your world narrows, and you’re an exhausted wreck who jumps at every email. We don’t suffer as much as many others do, but a dissertation is long, hard slog, and it’s wonderful to know that people are watching out for you.
And so now, I send dissertation care packages, too. My average care package contains (delivered in person if possible but by mail if not):
1) Caffeine, either in the form of a gift certificate, tea or coffee.
2) Chocolate or candy or both.
3) Alcohol, usually by gift certificate unless it’s in person. Whiskey or other serious hard stuff is best.
4) A note. Often funny.
If in person, take them for a salad. Trust me, I know I didn’t need any more pizza or burritos.
And Sci would like to see this paid forward. If someone was wonderful to you in some small way during your dissertation, remember, and pass it along to someone else. When you see that bedraggled grad student in the hall, be willing to share a cup of coffee and a listening ear. Be willing to edit.
And Sci would also like to acknowledge the awesomeness of a dissertation buddy.
Often, several people are writing at the same time. Especially as deadlines loom for graduation in May, August, or December, several grad students will disappear from the planet trying desperately to make the last turn in day. Grad students, if these are you, band together! It really helps with procrastination to have someone next to you relentlessly banging on the keys. Sci had a dissertation buddy, and she contributed to my most productive days, just being around while we both frantically worked, and watching our stuff while we took turns going for more coffee. And we were there to cheer each other on, to talk through the scary last minute emails from our PIs, and to make sure we ate something when we got the caffeine shakes.
And hey, it’s not like we were good company to anyone else, all we could talk about was our dissertations.
Students, post-docs, remember (or look forward to) what it’s like. And send a defending student a care package. 🙂
