Dear Awesome Speaker,
Verily, you are indeed awesome. You’re a really Big Wig in this field, and that’s really something you should be proud of. You seem like a pretty decent guy. And your data is REALLY SWEET. It’s really freakin’ cool. I’m not gonna lie.
But.
There’s showing off your cool data, and then there’s being SO in love with your cool data and the sound of your own voice detailing your many experiments of win that you run TWENTY MINUTES over your allotted seminar time. TWENTY MINUTES while Sci was standing uncomfortably in the back both because you are such a hot shot that the talk was standing room only, and because I’m a busy bee of a post-doc with STUFF TO DO. Like the experiment I need to do. Which needed to start TWENTY MINUTES AGO, and which would have started on time were you not so incredibly in love with showing off your work to us more minor beings.
I did indeed enjoy your data. I did not want to walk out. But when we were already 10 minutes over and you said “yeah, I should skip this because we’re running out of time, but I’ll just go over it quickly”, accompanied by “I always end up running out of time, I’ve got like half my slides left”, did you not perceive the audible sigh and shift and shuffle that came in response? Did you not perceive that people started stealing out of the room? Did you maybe think “well, perhaps I should skip this next experiment”? NO. NO YOU DID NOT. Instead, you said “here, let’s look at this 5 minute video! NOW, let’s look at it AGAIN! NOW, let’s look at it re-analyzed!” And then proceeded to prattle on.
You were prattling on a great subject. It’s true. You’re a great speaker, very captivating. But that does NOT justify going 20 minutes over your allotted time while you throw in funny anecdotes about serendipity and how humble you are about having done all of your wonderful experiments of awesome and win. Ain’t nobody that special when Sci’s got experiments to run. So do us all a favor. When you KNOW you run on, and you KNOW you always go over, SHORTEN YOUR EFFING TALK. Because my opinion of you and your ego gets worse with every second my experiments aren’t getting run.
Much love and kisses, and your data are indeed REALLY pretty,
Sci
